SoStinkingCool

If you’re in leadership, it goes without saying that you want to be the best leader you can be. Whether you are the CEO of a Fortune 500 or you lead a group of church volunteers, my guess is, like me, you pray that you don’t screw it up. People are depending on you to lead well, to have vision, to communicate clearly what the goal is and how to achieve that goal.

Leading is tricky, and for the person that is gifted to lead, it’s the jet fuel that injects their heart every morning. Leadership involves using the strengths we have, it also requires us to work out of our “growth areas” (just a nice way to say weaknesses, which no leader likes to admit).

One of the realities of leading is that we don’t always see what the people we lead see. We, like others get focused on the task and our task is forward… What’s next, the future, what’s the next step, product, meeting, how to inspire and keep the main thing the main thing?

Maybe I’m the only one, but I can become blind to the people I lead and the things they see about our organization. But my suspicion is that if you’re in leadership you have blind spots too. Andy Stanley says that, “leadership is stewardship and you’re accountable.” Stewardship (leadership) takes time on the ground; time asking questions and even more importantly, listening. So taking the lead of a great leader in my life, this week I hit the ground and asked the questions and then just listened.

If you want to take your leadership to the next level let those you lead give you feedback on how you’re doing. You heard me. Ask the question about the elephant in the room.

Here’s what I did;

* Send a simple list of questions to those that you lead (direct reports) in advance and ask them to thoughtfully and honestly answer the following questions. Invite them to meet 1:1 with you to share their answers.

* What attributes do I bring to the team, organization, business that is helping the team meet its goal, objective (this is the lidocaine for the rest of the evaluation).
* What are the attributes that i have that might be keeping the team from achieving the goal and vision?
* In what ways can i grow to be a better leader?
* What do you need from me to be more effective in your role?
* What are my relational blind spots?
* What’s the last 10%? Everyone always has 10% they withhold… Be vulnerable and approachable and allow them to say it.

* Take notes, look for the thread that runs between each persons feedback.
* Thank them. Period. Don’t take the moment to explain, cast vision or defend. Just listen and allow yourself to be a student for the sake of being a better leader.

This was by far one of the most humbling, scary, enjoyable and most beneficial things I’ve ever done to grow my leadership muscles. I would highly recommend that every leader ask the right questions to the right people and then put your action steps into place.

The single one most important thing you can do? Ask the question, to the people that matter, “how am I doing?”

And the days can be long… And always be thankful.

And the first week of school can bring tears and joy… And always be thankful.

And schedules are packed with good conversations, hard realities and lists to be checked… And always be thankful.

And nights are short with babies and teenagers and homework and chores and favorite reads and worries about tomorrow… And always be thankful.

And kids try to squeeze out the last drops of summer, bed is hard when it’s still light outside and doesn’t feel like fall… And always be thankful.

And loved ones get sick, heads get shaved, toddlers beg for attention… And always be thankful.

And weddings come, dresses and songs, cake and flowers and tear-filled hearts… And always give thanks.

And kids live far away and no matter the age of the skin, momma’s hearts yearn for their chicks to be close, with their bitty chicks in tow… And always be thankful.

And loves travel through air for days at a time and beds are empty and lips long for lips… And always be thankful.

And people gather for one purpose, other peoples kids and they rally together for something bigger than themselves and our hearts are full because they lock arms for one More life to know Jesus and 1000’s of generations of promise… And always be thankful.

And mornings to ponder and linger and swallow coffee that’s sweet and birds that sing and scents that tickle… And always be thankful.

Thankful… Colossians 3:15

Some days I have to live completely by “feel”. You know, blind faith, trust.

And it feels awkward, unsteady, scary, and a little out of control. Like taking the “fall test”, you know the one… Where you fall backwards with someone behind you and you are tasked with trusting that they’re going to catch you… The jump in your stomach, the catch of your breathe when you just do it and fall back in pure trust, praying, hoping they’ll catch you. Or the time we dared each other to jump off the bridge into the river 40 feet below, my siblings and I. Oh, the rush of butterflies in my gut should have kept me hovering over the water! There are days that feel that way, ummmm.

But my Jesus says, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.” John 14:1

Can it really be that simple? Can I walk through each day and simply trust… Knowing God has it! He’s behind me ready to catch me always, every time, whenever?

Yep~ It’s that simple.

We walk forward, we keep going, we run like he wind and rejoice in the simple, we do the next thing, we pray without ceasing, we rely on Someone we can’t see, but know is for us and in us enabling us to “fall” forward, ever seeking His way and doing what He did …whoever believes in me will do the same works I have done and even greater works…. John 14:12

So today, again I’m falling back, leaping forward and jumping high into the great unknown of today.

Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
Mark 6:31

Jesus knew weary…
Jesus knew what rest really meant~
to give, rest, quiet, recreate, refresh, renew~

….God cares deeply about even that…

At the busiest of times, Jesus would slip off “to a quiet place” by himself. Over and over again we see Jesus showing us by example that we can’t keep pushing through the “crowds” of ministry, of the laying on of “hands” and hundreds of conversations, the piles of files or even the mounds of laundry… we require rest. We long for quiet beaches or warm blankets with hot tea. But we shouldn’t long for those moments… we should make those stolen moments a priority like he did. Jesus knew he had to be plugged into His Father, “re-juice” with Papa’s power to keep going. Jesus was God in flesh… meaning he put himself in the position to be constrained by skin, by blood, by a heartbeat. He needed food, water and… rest.

Today is Friday, tomorrow Saturday~ you have permission to rest, it’s ok… just follow the example of your Jesus. Put down the computer, turn your notifications off on your phone, silence the noise, turn off the music, roll down the window with the AC blowing on high and feel God’s hands rub your achey shoulders. The ministry wave isn’t going away… the crowds will resurface to touch the hem of his garment again on Sunday, the list will get done and the faces will be cherished when next you see them.

It’s okay… go ahead and rest, breath, smile, breathe and linger… just a little bit longer.

Every month I lead a class for kids and parents about salvation called, We Believe. At one point in the class I use an example of receiving birthday and Christmas gifts… All wrapped up in beautiful paper and ribbons, displayed in piles just waiting for us to open them on our special day. How odd it would be, I tell the kids, if we got so excited to see them and then simply walked away or even cherished them by putting them on a shelf… But never opening them. Of course every kid laughs and thinks that’s the most hilarious and ridiculous thing they’ve ever heard of! Why would anyone ever do something like that?

The reality is we do it all the time… I think I do it every day.

God has given us the greatest gift of salvation through his Son, Jesus. We love this gift, but we don’t always live , act or move through our days wearing the the gift. Like I tell the kids, this gift is something God not only wants us to acknowledge… he wants us to “open” the gift, splash in it, throw the paper up and dance around in it! God promises purpose, peace and joy in our lives because of this gift. But we have to receive it, open it, trust it, use it.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27

We really can have joy in the suffering~
Rest when we’re weary
A smile when things are flying all around us
Calm in chaos
And strength when we’re weak

I’m choosing to wear this gift today… Peace, joy, purpose!

Fridays are set aside in my world… Supposed to be. You might be the same way, have a day that is scheduled for sweeping up the left-overs of a busy week. or two.

Laundry deep in the hamper, mail piling up, fingerprints on the table revealing the dust of a couple weeks of go, go, go, literal left-overs in the fridge that threaten to undo your expectation of culinary creativity.

Fridays don’t just allow me time to be domestic, but also the sweetness to linger and wade in the lessons of the week a little bit longer. To resonate in the Story, to reflect on the moments and to recount the rich tidbits sprinkled in each day…

1Kings 19 ~ a chick-adee dancing on a frozen limb outside my early morning window, God reminds me that His voice doesn’t come in the LOUD and the wild, but in the whisper… Learning to lean in and listen. for His voice, His heartbeat. Listen

John 11 ~ the power and peace of ‘no’, waiting and trusting the greater ‘yes’ to come. Even in their grief and disappointment, the sisters verbalizing their sadness, they did something remarkable and courageous… They received the ‘no’ without turning against the one who said it. When we say and hear ‘no’ freely, we give God room to work, to amaze us. Don’t be rejected by the ‘no’, but wait for the better ‘YES’.

“4:8” IT ~ Bath everything in the 4:8. “Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy – think about such things.” This is not a Pollyanna mindset, but a filter, a lifestyle, a guard for my heart and mind (check out verse 7).
Speak only words that make souls strong
Trust your tongue only when your heart is tender
Discipline of refusal… Refuse to ‘go there’, but think the ‘whatevers’

Genesis 32:20-30 ~ Real leaders limp. Submission to the One and Only equals strength. God will pin me to the mat, engage me in a wrestling match to refine me, teach me, but mostly to transform me. My ‘limp’ is left to recall and remind me of that He wants the best for me and has created me for a purpose.

DWHTY ~ “Do whatever He tells you”. Do the hard things, the obscure things, the daily things, the small things, the fearful faith things. The impossible and never been done things. Just do whatever He tells you. John 2:5 DWHTY!

I’ve had a ‘no’ this week… listen ing now for the ‘yes’ of a greater answer to come. Whispers…

My truth-telling tendency requires me to 4/8 it A LOT! A constant reminder to live a life of grace and truth.

Walking with a limp as a leader and enjoying every minute of it.

The answer is ‘yes lord’, now what’s the question. DWHTY(Cindy)

What did God teach you this week, don’t pass over it too quickly… wade in it and wash yourself and your family in it. Share it here, I’d love to hear what your ah-ha’s were this week.

C

“Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down (like brown sugar), shaken together (like milk and pudding mix), and running over (like syrup filling waffle holes on Sunday morning),  will be poured into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  Like 6:38

time spent with Him, Papa God
time spent the Him, the husband
chats and giggles over miles and wireless with kids and grandlittles
pouring into sisters and brothers, moms and dads
measuring in moments of present conversations… each face, each encounter, each spot
resting in gifts and grace… bluebirds on icy branches at dawn, coffee sweet with foam

He tells us to measure abundantly, to refuse the limits of cups and spoons, of ladles and boxes.  I ask myself, ‘how am I doing?’ knowing that I measure some days, out of my pride and bruises.  

bless those who curse you, turn to them the other cheek to sting, give them your blouse and coat and shoes and … give to everyone who asks you, do not demand recompence, but freely give.  pour out generously

“… every work is the work of a thousand generations, of decisions leading to decisions, of the unpredictable outcomes that come from human interactions.” Says Seth Godin… So true.  In the economy of our world and earthly limitations, outcomes are limited to unpredictable and hard realities of decisions made in haste, selfishness and ignorance ( sometimes we just don’t know what we know).

and yet, there are measures~
pour out generously and watch the overflow return

do our measures have to equate with unpredictability?  can the outpouring of ourselves create a greater cause and effect, a truer hope-filled, joy full generational outcome?

The Son of man would say yes, His Creator Father would say yes too

“…showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” Exodus 20:6

cause and effect~ give and receive, love and be loved, pour out and be filled, measure abundantly and expect a lap full.  He gave to us abundantly, His One and Only so we could live … abundantly.

we can choose today how to measure… some days we don’t want to measure, pour out, spill over onto the humanity around us… we dont  feel like it or the empty space in our existence seems dry.  

but we must!  we must pour out in order to be filled up.  it’s the mystery and promise of grace… as we spill out we pace the “predictable” of a thousand generations, it’s our privilege and responsibility

abundant measures = influence = promised prediction of love to a thousand 

how will you measure today, will you leave your generations to unpredictability or promised portions of grace, love, hope and joy.

Letting it spill over today

Some days and weeks lead to questioning who is following you around with a rain bucket irritatingly dripping water down you neck. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about days of dread or even days of mountain climbing up shale (you know, three steps forward and two steps back). I’m talking about the pesky fly that won’t stop dive bombing you, or the broken heel as your walking into a party or even just pouring that delicious cup of coffee only to realize that you forgot to program the coffee pot the night before (fail)… Little things that really aren’t big deals by themselves, but make your day or week feel like you need to keep looking over your shoulder for the next rain cloud. If you can only hold everything together (where’s the baling wire?!)

Colossians 1:16-17 says, “For by him all things were created: things in heaven and things on earth, visible and invisable, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities, all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things and in him, all things hold together!”

In HIM, all things hold together! I’m so thankful that I don’t have to hold all things together! Its not my job, or my responsibility to hold all things together. What a relief and what joy that brings to this control freak, people-pleaser on rain bucket days!

So what do we do when the drip won’t stop and the coffee is cold? We refocus, pull back and look at the bigger picture, there’s a bigger story that God is writing, but I can’t see it if I’m focusing just on the “drip”. 1 Peter 4:7 says we must be “clear-minded and self-controlled so you can pray”. And I would add praise… Praise for the moisture, praise for the time spent with Him while coffee is brewing, praise for the 2am snuggles with that baby God has gifted you with, praise for the legs and strength to keep climbing this mountain… Praise for the freedom to love my God out loud.

I’m not going to hold it all together anymore… I’ll let Him.