“Tonight I’m trying to be brave, trying to hold back the tears and trying not to allow my head to go places it shouldn’t go… the “what if” questions and scenarios are pressing hard on the door of my heart and yet on this side of the door I have a firm grasp on my Best Friends hand which I can feel the heartbeat of One that reminds me that there really is peace in the storm, joy unspeakable and trust that can carry any load this world can dish up.

God tells Joshua over and over again to “be strong and courageous”, “be very strong and courageous”… Joshua was a beast of a man, a warrior not afraid of anything, yet God continually told him to be strong and courageous. Another man years later would walk into a different sort of battle, would come willingly and would not need the encouragement to be strong and courageous… he just was. That Man is my Best Friend, that’s the heartbeat I feel pulsing through my fingers into my arm and through my every cell as I hold His hand. Jesus.

Today, my son is kissing his babies good night for the last time before he heads off to war~ tonight my son will hold his wife and feel his unborn baby kick, before he picks up his pack and carries out his duty in a far away place. This is what he does… this is what she does…

A Momma just never gets over the fact that even though he’s a grown man with babies of his own… he’s still her baby.”

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

I wrote this entry almost 17 months ago… I’m thrilled to say that our first born son is home safe on American soil and has been for several months now. I didn’t publish this post back then, not wanting my raw emotion to shadow the strength I was trying to lean against for him, his wife, and the rest of our family.

Seems appropriate now to post it… Today, he has advanced in rank to HMI/E6 after months and months of hard work!  God is faithful to hear our prayers of deliverance and safety.  He is faithful to provide and gives us strength to continue.

He answers prayer, He is good and He is smart.  Thank you Papa God.
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